Gosh, there are a lot of articles out there about how to get the man. How to make him fall in love with you. How to get him to propose. How to stay married, once you are married. Just this week I ran across another such article “9 tips on ‘How To Be Married’ by Jackie Pilossoph. It struck me that most of the 9 tips are just good ways to live, married or not. My single-girl spin is in italics.
- Keep all screens out of the bedroom (laptops, cellphones, iPads, etc.). This is a good idea in general, though I admit to keeping my cell phone nearish to my bed. And I sleep with the TV on. Okay, I really suck at this one. Who cares? It’s just me.
- Travel on your own (in addition to with your spouse). YES! I talk about this all the time. Single-girl solo travel is so much fun – especially if you meet a local guide via Tinder’s geo-locating capabilities. It’s a monthly fee, but totally worth it if you know you have a trip coming up (tip: you can cancel when you are back). My recommendation is to log on a week or two in advance, geo-locate to your vacation destination and start swiping! More about how to do this safely in my book.
- Remember that equality isn’t going to be 50/50 all the time. Yeah, when you are single it is all you 100% of the time. Hooray!
- Listening is more important than talking. Always in all the relationships in your life!
- Express gratitude in real and tangible ways. This is great to keep in mind regardless of your relationship status. Keeping a gratitude journal is a great way to become more aware but I love the idea of expressing gratitude – let people in your life know how much they mean to you.
- Stay your own person. Being your true, authentic self is so important always, but especially when you are single and dating. There is never a need to compromise who you are and what and who you want in your life. You do you, girl!
- Get rid of your expectations. Letting go of expectations is my very favorite part of dating in my 40’s. It’s really no longer about finding “the one”. It’s about living a full and interesting life. Including lots of interesting men! Get rid of the checklists and have fun learning about other people as you date.
- Marriage takes a village, so lean on friends and family for support. Having a strong network of friends gets more important the older we get, I think. All I have left for family is my 86-year-old mom so I purposefully make sure I have good friends in my life.
- Maintain some mystery in your marriage (the French call this acting like your husband’s mistress). Well, this one is the only one that isn’t relevant.. I would say keep your dating life interesting, maybe with a French man!